Make Younger You Proud

I remember back to a time when I was 15 years old at my grandparent’s farm.

At the side of one of their fields, I sat shivering on a frost-covered, cold stone, dyke wall, my body aching like I was being stabbed with a thousand tiny sharp knives.

Whilst I loved being amongst their many animals and outside in nature, there was little that could lift my mood and the feelings of despair that engulfed me.

I had already suffered from endometriosis pain for several years by this age and it felt it was too much to handle.

Each month I cried and grabbed my abdomen, fearing I would die.

Almost wishing I could die sometimes if only to escape the pain.

I was down.

I was sad.

And I felt alone.

My parents had their own challenges, and sadly, my mother saw me as this hindrance, a form of competition and a threat so I never received the love, affection or sense of safety from her I needed.