Abuse Isn’t Always Physical

Government agencies, police forces and charities around the globe, agree that abusers or toxic people may carry out more that one form of emotional mistreatment against their unsuspecting targets.

Toxic people may use a combination of multiple types of mistreatment, and it is this sustained, passive-aggressive approach, that causes women such confusion and deep suffering.

Emotional mistreatment has such a profound impact on the body’s nervous system, which is in constant communication with the immune system, thereby impacting the physical health and emotional health as the body’s nervous system is unable to relax and in a continuous state of ‘flight/fight’ maladaptive stress response. This means that the stress hormone cortisol and adrenaline are being pumped out affecting other hormones like progesterone and estrogen — but more on that later.

Not only is this type of subversive treatment damaging at deep levels of the psyche but because it is not often immediately apparent it becomes so challenging to escape from.

I believe that the secret to life is balance; that the secret to balance is awareness and the secret to awareness is to journal and meditate.

It was by following a process of journaling and increasing my own awareness over many years that led me to recognise what had been happening in some of my own relationships. I slowly realised how toxic the relationships around me had become and led in one close relationship being referred to as Domestic Abuse & Emotional Mistreatment.

  • Sexual
  • Verbal
  • Psychological
  • Emotional
  • Coercive control
  • Financial
  • Religious
  • Digital

There is zero excuse for any form of abuse.

What is Sexual Abuse?

Interestingly, whilst all forms of sexual abuse are abhorrent, the opposite situation may be used in marriages by some abusive partners. Some toxic people have been known to withhold any and all forms of physical closeness or sexual relations as a form of punishment. So if you are confused why your partner is not interested in physical closeness or relations then this may be a sign of him trying to control you.

There is zero excuse for any form of abuse.

There is zero excuse for any form of abuse.

What is Psychological Abuse?

There is zero excuse for any form of abuse.

What is Emotional Abuse?

There is zero excuse for any form of abuse.

What is Coercive Control?

There is zero excuse for any form of abuse.

There is zero excuse for any form of abuse.

What is Religious Abuse?

There is zero excuse for any form of abuse.

What is Digital Abuse?

There is zero excuse for any form of abuse.

So how does abuse relate to emotional upsets, depression and anxiety?

There is zero excuse for any form of abuse.

When thinking about my own experience with emotional mistreatment, I would sometimes feel worn down, flat and put down upon with little respite due to the continual verbal and emotional beratement.

Many as 23% of targets of domestic abuse have attempted suicide, compared to 3% amongst the general population who have not experienced domestic abuse. Verbal and emotional abuse is also linked to a higher risk of suicide.

So, when looking at the statistics that show how many people experience domestic abuse (1 in 3 women, 1 in 5 children), it really highlighted the root cause of why suicide rates are so high.

The research that affected me the most was the suicide figures according to the World Health Organisation (WHO). The WHO state that more people have died by suicide than in all the wars, terrorist attacks, murders and government executions combined.

Isn’t that tragic?!

There is zero excuse for any form of abuse.

So how does abuse relate to discrimination?

This is why it is important to try and help break the ancestral conditioning and patterns of domestic abuse by sharing information via podcasts like this.

I wish to offer options to help affected women and children escape from abusive environments by informing and educating them about their options for self-protection. If nothing is done, abuse and discrimination of one individual can lead to that target abusing and being discriminatory towards someone else. This results in a cycle of abuse and discrimination which continues decade after decade.

There is zero excuse for any form of abuse.

Sadly, I discovered many studies and papers confirming that living in a domestically abusive environment brought great stress to women, especially when a woman experienced multiple forms of emotional abuse over sustained periods of time.

It is acknowledged widely from a biological and physiological perspective that chronic or long-term stress impairs the body’s immune system response and its ability to fight off foreign antigens.

There is zero excuse for any form of abuse.

So you can see why stopping domestic abuse and mistreatment is paramount. Not only does it have far-reaching effects into all fabric of our society but abuse breeds abuse. Abuse breeds suffering. Suffering breeds sickness and distress. Distress and depression may lead to some seeking the ultimate relief and escape of suicide — and no person, no matter who they are, their background or beliefs, should experience this. You can really see how all these issues strongly interlink.

  • Toxic people don’t just not speak to you and ignore you, they give you punishing and profound long silences that can last days where they refuse to acknowledge they are not engaging with you or your existence.
  • Toxic people don’t just question what you are wearing, they smirk or sneer at you, put you down and make cruel or underhand remarks at every item of clothing you wear.
  • Toxic people don’t just say to watch expenditure, they make you write down every penny of expenditure and account for any and every transaction, whilst limiting your access over time to your own financial resources.
  • Toxic people don’t just make you doubt yourself, they impact you to have crippling bouts of insecurity which make you not want to engage with friends and remain isolated and alone.
  • Toxic people don’t just cause an atmosphere, they make you feel like you are walking on eggshells or through a field of landmines — you just never know what will set them off.
  • Toxic people aren’t just unhappy or dissatisfied with life it appears that nothing you say or do can make them happy.
  • Toxic people don’t just leave you on edge, they make you freeze in fear when you hear the front door open when they return home for fear of what mood they might be in and their retribution.
  • Toxic people don’t just try to control you, they have a watchful and critical eye over you all the time and follow your every move and action whilst undermining what you say or do.
  • Toxic people don’t just criticise you, they tear to pieces any particular element of joy or pleasure you seek.
  • Toxic people don’t just gaslight you, they distort your sense of reality so that nothing appears as it once was. You find yourself questioning things you were once sure of and now feeling worn down to accepting things in the past you weren’t sure of.

There is zero excuse for any form of abuse.

A lot of women don’t even realise they have been or are being abused. If it’s all they’ve known then they think it’s normal and the abuser makes them think they are the issue — and even deserve it.

There is zero excuse for any form of abuse.

Also, no matter if your partner has had ‘a troubled past’ or a ‘bad day at work’ there is zero excuse for domestic abuse.

Most importantly though you need to trust your instincts. This may be hard when toxic people try to gaslight you, and make you feel confused but trust your gut instincts over anything anyone says or does.

There is zero excuse for any form of domestic abuse.

If you feel you might be subject to any form of abuse it is important to remember there is no excuse for any form of abuse or emotional mistreatment.

From personal experience, I would suggest starting to write everything down that they say or do down onto paper, or a journal or in a secure app on your mobile phone. Indeed for some women, it may also be useful to start to record your partner’s mistreatment so it’s clear in your head what is going on and so that you do not forget.

Learning about self-worth and appropriate personal and psychological protection is not taught or discussed much in society but it is essential for healthy relationships and a deterrent to toxic people.

Make your next step to start to journal and start to take back power and control slowly one small step at a time.

I have covered a lot today as I feel this is a hugely important subject that personally took me a long time to recognise and accept. I hope that by sharing some of my own learning this starts to help you expand your awareness of your value and worth and that no one should treat you poorly no matter who they are.

Founder & CEO Of HealEndometriosisNaturally.com — Helping Women Put Endometriosis Condition Into Remission Through The Laidlaw Protocols.

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